I’ve been feeling sad today. Needless to say, 9/11 has something to do with that. I actually had an idea for some artwork related to that, but I didn’t do it. I generally avoid saying or doing anything related to 9/11 to protect Jason. He worked in Lower Manhattan at the time, and it changed his life. He’s purposefully avoidant of it though – doesn’t like to talk about what happened, won’t go on Facebook since everyone posts about it, and just seems to steer clear of it. I don’t know how much of his way of dealing with it is related to him just being him, and how much of it is related to him having worked a couple of blocks away, and how that affected him. I check in with him in case he does decide he wants to talk, and to make sure he’s ok, but otherwise I leave it alone. Everyone deals with its affects in a way that suits them, and I don’t want to push him on it. So I didn’t make the artwork I was thinking about because he’d likely see me making it, and that seemed like a potential imposition on the space he needs. As long as wants to steer clear, I will clear the path ahead of him.
I’m also sad because of the issues related to my father that I posted about yesterday. Today, I spent hours trying to find and schedule a moving company to move the furniture from the storage unit in Texas to our house in New Jersey, which made for a rather unpleasant afternoon. I got one estimate for $7000, which was just the cost of the travel time without the actual moving/labor costs. When the guy on the phone said that, I think I offended him with my rather unladylike reflex response. I’ve since gotten additional, much more reasonable estimates, but going through websites to read reviews, and find some measure of assurance that whatever company I hire isn’t going to screw us over and/or destroy furniture that has a lot of sentimental value is tiresome and annoying. Getting inundated with calls from salespeople is also my own private hell because I hate salespeople and I hate talking on the phone. Taking care of this is something that has to be done though, and I’m doing it, just like I’ve done almost everything else to settle matters related to his death, but it’s draining.
In lieu of making 9/11-themed artwok, for today’s installment of 30x30x30, I wanted to respond to my blah mood. As I mentioned last week, I like tree imagery, and a tree felt like the right thing to make, for a bunch of reasons, including that its familiarity as an image that I enjoy creating and recreating is comforting. Also, trees can be landmarks, and can help people navigate through unfamiliar territory.