Today, I am so excited to point you over to DiabetesMine, where Amy Tenderich graciously gave me the opportunity to share a post about art therapy. People frequently ask me what art therapy is when I tell them I’m an art therapist because the combination of artist plus therapist might seem a little peculiar at first glance. Even more peculiar is what on earth art therapy has to do with diabetes, but in my guest post, I try to shine a little light on what I do. I hope you’ll head over to DiabetesMine to check it out.

No-Sugar Added: A Diabetes Poetry Book

Staying with the art theme today, I wanted to remind everyone that we are down to the final few days before the No-Sugar Added: A Diabetes Poetry Book give-away. This gorgeous book is filled with poems written by people from tudiabetes.org, all individuals who are diabetic, who are caregivers of diabetics, or who are healthcare providers of diabetics. While I didn’t write a poem for it, I did write the Introduction, and Dr. Polonsky from BDI wrote the Foreword, which is really cool. I know, it’s shameless self-promotion, but I think all of us who contributed to this project are pretty darn proud of the final product, and when you see how amazing it is, I think you’ll understand why.

The deadline for entering the drawing for the book is August 15th, this coming Sunday, so if you’d like to be entered into a raffle for a chance to win one of two copies of this super fabulous poetry book, get out your paints, markers, scissors and glue – or whatever art supplies you like to use and have handy. The task ahead of you is to make a piece of art about diabetes. It can represent anything you have to say about diabetes, any experience, any feeling, anything you want to express about being or caring for someone who is pancreatically challenged.

To enter, you must make an original piece of art, take a picture of it, preferably high resolution, and no less than 500 pixels on its shortest side, and send me that picture in an email. I want to post the pictures when I announce the winners next week, so please indicate to me whether or not I have your permission to post the image. I will not use the images for anything other than this contest. If I do not have your explicit permission, I won’t post the image, but you are still entered into the raffle.

It doesn’t matter if you are type 1, type 2, or type 3, shorthand for a caregiver or loved one, and there is no age restriction, so if your child or your parent or your spouse would like to make some diabetes art to enter, I hope they will do so. So far, I’ve only received 2 entries. That makes choosing 2 winners pretty easy, but kind of takes the fun out of having a raffle. If you would still like to submit an entry, there’s time, and obviously, your chances of winning are pretty good.

When I initially announced the contest, I had specified art submissions that relied more on visual imagery than language, but because participation has been lacking, as long as there’s some visual component, it’s OK if you incorporate words. I know very few people take time to make art because most people don’t think they’re “good at it”. I was motivated to encourage people to try making art, even if you haven’t made art since you were in grade school, because I believe everyone is capable of making art if they redefine what makes art “good”. To me, art is good if it’s created with sincerity and reflects a feeling or idea or experience, so basically, as long as you put some thought and effort into it, I’m impressed. You might think that means I’m easy to impress, but trust me, it seems that getting people to make art is gosh darn hard, so I’m not impressed as often as I’d like to be. It’s always made me so sad to hear one person after another tell me they aren’t good at art because no one ever told them they were good at it, or worse yet, they were discouraged when someone told them they weren’t good at it. I’m here to tell you are good at art!

So get your hands on some art materials, or turn your diabetes supplies into art, take a picture, send it to me between now and Sunday, and you might win a copy of No-Sugar Added: A Diabetes Poetry Book!

On Sunday, Jason and I had a heart to heart. Mostly he listened, mostly I talked, or rambled as the case may be, and I got a little teary eyed too. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed, like I’m trying to go in a hundred different directions, but since that’s not possible, I’m really just running in circles, although even that doesn’t quite describe it because at least if I were doing that, I would be going in some direction. Too many irons in the fire. Too many pots on the stove. You get the idea.

I do think part of my problem is related to my father’s death, but I don’t think I’m far enough away from it to really have enough perspective to grasp how it’s impacted me. Yesterday, I got papers in the mail from the lawyer, something about an inventory of assets since the estate was probated. I don’t know exactly because I glanced at it, and set it down with the distinct thought that I don’t want to be bothered with any of it anymore. I’m tired, all the work I’ve put into managing his estate has ultimately been thankless, and since he wasn’t particularly interested in me during his life, there’s not even a sense that he would have been appreciative of how I’ve stuck my neck way out for him through all of this…

Needless to say, I have some strong, unresolved feelings that I need more time to process. It’s this waiting and not knowing how to go about it that gets to me.

That’s probably the only truly bad thing that’s seeped into my spring, and although I can’t say I really knew what to expect as the initial turmoil of his death passed, it’s not a surprise that I’m feeling as I do about it now. Luckily, the rest of the chaos in my life hasn’t been morbid, and some of it has actually been good, although it’s what’s had me feeling like I’ve been running around like a chicken with its head cut off, although with a better outcome I hope.

Diabetes Robot

As April came to a close, I was the guest facilitator at our local hospital’s support group for teens with type 1. I brought my big plastic container filled with art supplies along with several boxes of diabetes trash, courtesy of many of you (thanks!!), and the kids went into a frenzy of creative goodness. Many of them collaborated to create a big diabetes robot, some of them did their own thing, but overall, it was a great success.

The CDE who runs the group relayed to the diabetes education department how well the group had gone, and as a result, I was invited to speak at a workshop for school nurses about eating disorders. A local clinician who is both a dietitian and a social worker was the headliner, followed by a CDE from the hospital who spoke about diabulimia. That nurse invited me to give the patient perspective, so I talked about my experience, recovery, and what I do now.

In addition to sharing how well the teen group had gone with the colleagues in her department, the nurse who runs that group also told another CDE who works at a local pediatric hospital about the art therapy group I did. That CDE invited me to participate in a summer camp program she’s starting for lower-income urban kids with type 1. As many of us know, diabetes camp can come with a high price tag, and although all of the camps with which I’m familiar do their best to offer financial aid and scholarships, that doesn’t mean all the families with kids who would benefit from such opportunities know to apply, or are in a position to buy things their kids would need for camp, or are even able to transport their kids to camp.

This new camp will be for 4 days in August, including a Saturday family day. The CDE is still trying to nail down a location, so this is in the very early stages of planning. She said my position will be a volunteer position, as the funding is bare bones, but it’s her hope that should it be successful this summer, that she’d be able to attain enough funding next year to pay me. Right now, the tentative plan is to have 3-4 art therapy groups per day, with one 1-day project, another more involved 2-day project, and then have the art on display for family day. Needless to say, I’m super excited to be a part of this. For several years, I’ve wanted to do something like this, but wasn’t really sure how to bring my vision to fruition. Of course, as with anything, I’d love to get a fat paycheck, or any paycheck for that matter, to go with it, but since I love what I do and I’m able to volunteer my services, committing to the project was only a matter of checking my schedule to make sure I was available. And I am, so I’m in!

In addition to that, Children’s Mental health Awareness Day was a couple of weeks ago. In honor of that, the Delaware Valley Art Therapy Association joined the Please Touch Museum in Philadelphia, a museum for children, to provide a day of art-making that was titled, “My Feelings Are a Work of Art”. I’m now on the board of DVATA as the newsletter chairperson (another project that’s had me quite busy), so I volunteered to help with that. The museum liked it so much that they’ve asked us to come back next year and do it again.

Of course, if you weren’t actually there, then you’ve likely already read other posts about the big D meet-up in NYC that was a little over a week ago. In honor of Cara’s yearly trek to see more musicals in the course of a few days than I’ve seen in my life, many diabetics in NYC and the surrounding areas gathered at a bakery-restaurant on the Upper West Side, just a block or so from Central Park. If the whole menu wasn’t organic, most of it was, so it was very environmentally-friendly, chemical-free food, which is good because I’ve been trying really hard to steer my diet more in that direction – although I was sad there was no diet soda. I have to say the bakery counter was filled with some beautiful treats, and had it not been for the long line as we were departing, I would have at least gotten some cookies. Also, as a side note, I had to chuckle because the original plan had been to meet at a little restaurant that specialized in pizza and mac & cheese, and I was totally prepared to arrive with a full cartridge of insulin, but Allison, our trusty organizer, discovered that restaurant had closed, so organic, sustainable plan B was quite the 180 degree turn!

The other biggish thing that’s happening is that I’ve decided to apply to a doctorate program. I have a lot of work to do to get my application together, so that’s taken precedence over blogging. Next week, I’m taking the Miller Analogy Test, which is a standardized exam that I need for my application. Honestly, I think my chances of getting accepted are a little skimpy. My qualifications are kind of marginal, but research to show that art therapy could be valuable for helping people with diabetes needs to be done, in my humble opinion, and although I might not have the best pedigree, I’d bet there aren’t too many people who are as motivated and invested as I am in doing that research. I debated sharing this here because I loathe the day when I might have to report that I wasn’t accepted, but I’ve posted about it on Facebook, so I figured I’d share it here too. Whatever ends up happening, you will be some of the first to know.

Finally, I’ve already blurted this all over the place, but my proposal to do a workshop at the American Art Therapy Conference in Sacramento this November was accepted. Before I go, I’ll be packing up the diabetes trash to ship to the conference site so the workshop participants can get their hands dirty in the discards of diabetes management for the purpose of creating something magnificent. I still have a good many leftovers from all that was sent to me in the fall, but if anyone has an inclination to send more, I do love offering the variety. Plus, I think it means a lot to tell people about the DOC and how the artistic creations made in my workshops are made possible by you.

So that’s the long and short of what’s been happening, or at least the highlights. It’s had me busy, it’s had blogging on the back burner, it’s had reading other blogs on the other back burner, and it’s had Twitter falling clear off the stove. Living life is about making priorities though, and with so much going on, there just hasn’t been time to sit and write a proper post. I think I’d be lost without my little home base here to vent the bad, share the good, and ponder the in-between. Just because I’m not writing as often doesn’t mean I’m not here. It just means I’m knee-deep in other projects that I hope will ultimately benefit the diabetes community, and you can be sure, as soon as I get time, I’ll always come here to share it with you.

Ask and thou shall receive.

I asked for people to send their diabetes trash, and the packages started to arrive, boxes wrapped with packing tape and big fat envelopes. Inside were the paper backs of all things adhesive, test strip bottles and boxes, tubing, cartridges, inserters, even several bottles of expired unused test strips, which delighted me so since I love to use my own test strips for art-making, but couldn’t offer anything that might be considered medically hazardous to others. My plan had been to sort through and get the materials organized the weekend of the 16th, but because of my family issues, my entire presentation was all but forgotten until last Friday, when I set aside my father’s papers, and tried to focus on putting something together.

Because most of the workshop would be spent making art, I didn’t have to worry too much about the actual presentation, other than to pick and choose the bare essentials of what I thought needed to be conveyed for the sake of putting the art task and the materials into context. I did want to give them something to take home to read in the event they wanted more information, so I spent most of my time getting that organized before Jason and I made a midnight visit to Fed-Ex Office, which I will probably forever call Kinko’s simply because that’s a catchier name. We made packets, returned home, and I went to bed at 2AM despite the fact that I had a 14-hour day ahead of me on Saturday. Naturally, I couldn’t sleep either just because sleeping is very hit or miss for me lately.

The conference went well overall. There were some parts of it that got to me, like the workshop on using fabric arts in art therapy groups. That reminded me of the quilts my father has that my great-grandmother made, and the many associations I have to both of them as they are intrinsically connected in my mind. It was good to get out of the house though. Putting on a happy face doesn’t always feel natural right now, but what’s that saying? Fake it till you make it? Or something to that effect. So I did a lot of faking, and towards the end of the afternoon, I was plenty distracted by my anxiety about giving the evening presentation that a little real estate cleared in my head for something other than my father.

I wasn’t delighted with my presentation only because my public speaking skills leave a little something to be desired, but everyone there seemed to enjoy it, and the artwork had me as close to giddy as I’ve been in a while. Everyone graciously allowed me to photograph their creations, and since many of you had a hand in this, I want to share the final products with you. The participants also encouraged me to submit a proposal to the national conference and for a daytime workshop slot at next year’s local conference. I needed something good, and I was grateful to get something good.

I know I got lots of congratulatory comments here, on Twitter, and on Facebook when I posted that I received my board certification exam results in the mail on New year’s Eve. That’s not to mention all the hugs, and in-person congratulations and wahoos-aplenty I shared with Jason and my friends. I’ve been wearing giddiness like a fuchsia feather boa ever since – and if I had such a boa, you can bet I’d rock it something fierce.

Saturday morning, after the third trip to the vet in as many weeks, Dexter and I came up the front steps, his new medicine in hand, to see the envelope I had been anxiously awaiting jutting out of the mailbox. The certificate, updated membership card, and official paperwork were here! There were high-pitched squeals of delight, and I’m pretty sure a goofy dance that once upon a time served its purpose as the tinkle dance when my loftiest goal was to have the most Barbies. Now I am officially official in the art therapy sense. 2009 ended on a happy note, and 2010 is off to darn good start too

Thanks, Mr. Postman!

Can't be certified without a certificate!

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

I went to the BlogHer Conference which also sent me to Chicago for the first time. I also attended my first American Art Therapy Association Conference.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I may not always succeed, but every day I want to be a better person, no matter what day or holiday or year it is. For more insight into my thoughts on New Year’s resolutions, check yesterday’s post.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

I kind of lose track because everyone in my age bracket seems to be making babies, but no one really close that I can recall.

My Dear Smeagol

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My Nan, and my beloved lizard, Smeagol.

5. What countries did you visit?

I didn’t leave the country.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

I’d like to have an art therapy business that’s flourishing, and I‘d like some decent, affordable health insurance. Of course, since I’m pursuing the self-employment route, I’m not really sure how or if I can get the insurance. It’s an unfortunate conundrum.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Smeagol died July 12th. It still makes me cry. I want nothing more than to turn back time, and come back from Texas one day sooner so I can take him to his vet instead of the University of Pennsylvania Vet Hospital who charged us $200-something to tell us they didn’t have any reptile specialists on staff late at night even though I called to ask if they could help Smeagol before we even took him there, and then sent him home to die in my arms. It makes my heart hurt.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Well, had I filled this out yesterday prior to checking the mail, I might have said getting my Art Therapist Registration (ATR), but passing my board certification exam trumps that now.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not having any of the job prospects for which I was most excited translate into an actual job.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I don’t know if it counts, but having the paramedics at my house responding to severe lows, and having Jason injecting glucagon in me a few times were incidents I could have done without.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My laptop.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Jason. He saved me 2 or 3 times this past year, on top of the fact that he already puts up with my chronic disorganization and terrible housekeeping skills.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The US government’s handling of health care reform, and the blatant disregard that so many Americans have for people who need health insurance. Appalled, depressed, and generally disgusted with humanity is only the tip of the iceberg.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Besides the mortgage, which is the case year after year, I’d have to say COBRA.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Umm, I’m board-certified, biotches!

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

I don’t really buy too much new music anymore because I’m old and I’m perfectly happy listening to music from the 80’s and early 90’s, so nothing really comes to mind.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

a) Happier because now that I’m board-certified, I can get my LPC (licensed professional counselor) credential in Pennsylvania, and my career options should improve.
b) Obviously, I didn’t write this meme because I never would have included such a question.
c) Richer because I’m still getting unemployment for now, although that isn’t going to last for much longer so hopefully my private practice will start to show signs of life.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Exercised and gotten semi-organized.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

I feel like I should spend less time social networking because other things are being neglected. I haven’t figured out how to best manage those activities with other activities and obligations.

20. Did you fall in love in 2008?

I love Jason so that counts I think.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

Dexter, totally. I hate the blood and killing, which I know sounds ridiculous since it’s a show about a serial killer. We can’t watch it too close to bedtime because if we do, my nightmares are more vivid, but the show is so good that I tolerate the mental agony it causes me.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Lately, I’ve been hating our political system and society, but that probably doesn’t qualify.

Health Care Reform

25. What was the best book you read?

I don’t think I read a whole book. I started reading several books, all non-fiction. In order to study for the board certification exam, I read a good part of Handbook of Art Therapy by Cathy Malchiodi. I thought it was a great overview of the practice.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I had tried Pandora a couple of years ago, and re-visited recently, but feel very meh about it. After trying blip.fm, I just don’t quite get it. Someone on twitter told me about last.fm though, and I’m digging that.

27. What did you want and get?

I wanted to pass my board certification exam. And I did.

28. What did you want and not get?

A job with awesome health benefits.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

I thought The Soloist was really good. Having worked with quite a few schizophrenic patients during my career, Jamie Foxx’s performance was very impressive.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I was 36, and I had a fabulous birthday. Allison & Wayne had a fondue party that coincided with my birthday, and Amy made homemade cupcakes complete with sugar-free frosting. There was singing, everyone politely tolerated my birthday tiara, and I had a grand time.

31. What was one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Health benefits.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

I’m quite sure I don’t have a personal fashion concept.

33. What kept you sane?

Jason. No doubt. Always.

Blogging, social networking, and my ever-increasing circle of diabetes friends would be a close second though.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I do loves me some Nathan Fillion.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

I don’t mean to beat a dead horse, which probably got better health care before dying than a good many Americans, but that would be health care reform.

36. Who did you miss?

Since he died, it’s been Smeagol.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

No way can I pick one person since I met so many – Scotty J., George, Crystal, Kerri, Cherise, Suzanne, Jaimie… I know I’m forgetting people, so that’s just a sampling of everyone I was thrilled to meet. I was pretty stoked to meet Bobby Clarke too.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

Believe in your goals and pursue them. Also, having lots of friends who believe in you can carry you when you forget to believe in yourself.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

It almost goes without saying, doesn’t it? “Don’t stop believin’”